Thoughts on a college education after 4 long years

I am writing this because I feel like I haven't done anything creative in a while. I am not a creative person, or at least that's what I've been telling myself all these years. I do play guitar, and last year on a whim I decided I was gonna be a classical guitarist after 5 years of butchering Pink Floyd solos with whacky distortion. That classical guitar hasn't seen the light of day in 3 months.

Writing is not my forte. I do not actually know what my forte is, and the older I get, the less convinced I am that everyone needs one. I don't think it matters. None of this does. Why are you reading this?

Anyways, college education.

So yeah, I am graduating in a few months, which makes this feel like a fitting time to write something reflective (and the creative part, of course). I am not trying to deliver some grand conclusion about whether college is worth it or whether everyone should do it. I am just trying to make sense of what it was for me, and maybe what it means now. I genuinely hope nobody uses this as evidence in their personal "should I go to college" trial.

I started college as this introverted kid. Or was I ambiverted? I do not know. The labels never helped me much. The point is, I was not especially outgoing or sure of myself.

Four years later, I'd like to say I'm a different person. I wonder if I gained more or lost more of myself. It sounds deep, but it really isn't.

I wasn't proud of going to ASU at any point. Not sure if I still am, but it is what it is. I am grateful for what being here did to me. Going to a big state school will challenge you if you want to be challenged, and it will keep you inside your comfort zone if that's what you want.

I never did everything. I was never one of those people who seemed to be collecting clubs, internships, side projects, and a personality on the side. Not that it's wrong but it just wasn't for me. But whenever I did step out a little more, I grew. I met people I think will stay in my life for a very long time. Maybe that is one of the best things college gives you. You are thrown into the lives of people who grew up differently, think differently, want different things, and somehow that forces your world to become less narrow. As someone whose prefrontal cortex has not completely developed yet, I'd like to think I made some solid progress during my time here.

College was a very systematic (and expensive) way to grow out of my shell and become a mostly functional adult. I'm sure you can do that without going to college, but this is the easier way. It's more focused, which can be a good thing or a bad thing. You will also find yourself meditating under a tree in your final semester and suddenly find out that engineering wasn't for you and you wanted to study penguins in popular films instead. That, in my books, is a cool realization.

I was talking to my mom the other day about how people say what they want to do in life long before they actually know what they want. My 12-year-old cousin does NOT want to be an engineer, yet you will hear her say that she does. We grow up borrowing ambitions from those around us. We inherit their projections and call them dreams. By the time we are able enough to question things, it feels too late.

Is it really too late though?

Life is not a race, and I wish we were better at accepting detours, delays, wrong turns, and complete collapses of the original plan. I say this as someone who probably would not handle falling off track very gracefully either. But I still wish there were less shame in changing your mind and less pride in pretending you never wanted to.

I'm pretty sure I have not once made a point without going off on a tangent. Anyways, the point is that if you know what you want (trust me, you don't when you are 18), then college will lay out a system for you.

Now I am getting tired of this, and it's also 1:27 AM right now, so I will just list out some good things I got out of college in one sentence:

Like-minded people, people skills, math, Mexican food, Chinese food, multicultural experiences, close friends, new perspectives on food, fashion, career, and money, and the slow process of becoming your own person.

It also got me a job. I am pretty sure I would not have gotten it without my degree.

But you do not need a job in the narrow way people talk about jobs. And you do not need a degree in the sacred way people talk about degrees. If you want to make money, there are a hundred ways to do that. If you want to become a better version of yourself, there are books, conversations, skills, risks, failures, and entire worlds online waiting for you. College is one path. It is not the path.

I did go to college, so my advice is kind of worthless here, but I think about it a lot, and now unfortunately you have to hear about it too.

If your goal is to go to college just for the experience or for some time to figure things out, and you can afford it, do it. If it's for getting some generic job that you hate, think about it. The college method is patched. The education vs wages curve I saw every day in every econ class sounds like a joke today.

Anyways, this essay wasn't for you, it was for me. I feel proud of this non-ChatGPT essay. I said a whole lot of nothing.

Maybe I like writing. And maybe you don't have to be good at something to like it.

And you now. If you're somehow reading this, you should tell me how and why.

Goodnight.